Monday, August 27, 2007

Weird dreams

I have always had weird dreams but last night and today when I had my nap today, they were more than bizzar. I looked in a mirror and I was a totally different person but I expected to see my face. I kept trying to rationalize it in my dream and I woke up very unsettled. Someone was trying to kill me in another dream. They were tring to kill a lot of people so it wasn't spesifcly somthing about me just a very twisted person. And there was one where I was trying to drive around and the car wouldn't do what I wanted and everyone kept "helping" me by telling me how I should drive. They were really disorienting though. Very strange.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

The Hospital

Today is Sunday and since Thursday I have been visiting my aunt Sylvia in the hospital. The Lutheran Hospital hear in Boulder. It may not be the most wonderfully quite place in the world but I don't think it is that bad. The nurses are all more than nice they are considerate and other than one mix up (the weekend doc removed a hose he shouldn't have) it has been a fairly positive experience for my aunt. I think its a lot better than it could be.

The only thing about this trip is the lack of sleep. It is really getting to me. I finally had a nap today but that because we left my aunt a little early today in order to go shopping for a few million items my aunts house needed. And last night I shut myself in the basement and slept on the floor because the crickets hear are SO LOUD. I can not believe how obnoxious it is. That and it is very warm. I will be so grateful to return home to my comfy little bed.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Boulder Co.

Tomorrow is Wednesday. I am traveling down to Boulder with my mom to take care of my aunt Sylvia after her colon removal surgery. I'm sure there is some fancy name for that but I don't know it. Apparently she is very sick and there isn't even a chance she'll be out of the hospital until Sunday at the earliest. I feel very bad for her. Apparently she wasn't allowed to eat before or after the surgery. And she wasn't able to sleep at all after the surgery for four days. She also has a tube in her mouth which makes it hard for her to talk. Yesterday someone hooked up one of her other tubes (I hope) wrong and the waste from her colon was going back in somewhere which made her nauseous and sick.

Hear your thinking that I have been in contact with her but I haven't. I haven't called or even talked to her. All of this is second hand. I could have called but I always found an excuse not too after all I have regular progress reports from everyone and I'm going to see her tomorrow. It creeps me out that shes had half of her guts removed. Surgery is very traumatic. People pretend that its different from a car wreck but really, the body takes it the same way. It doesn't want to be cut open or have bits removed. It wants to be left up to its own devices and so its no wonder that people take a long time to recover from surgery even though the doctors think they shouldn't. Its stressful.

I spent today finding books to help me and my mom through it. I couldn't find anything much at Hastings although I got one about dealing with Toxic people. If anyone is toxic it is my moms family so that might help, but I went to a second hand book store just in case and amazingly they owner recognized me. I used to go in there when I was a kid but most people don't recognize me now. First of all I was blond and now I have brown hair (yes naturally) and secondly I look very different. Apparently I can see how I look the same but most people cant. He said "I'm glad to see you've come back." and helped me find a book called A survival Guide for Family Caregivers. By Jo Horne. I didn't do more than glance though it but I think it looks helpful even if it for elderly crabby invalids rather than young crabby invalids. I'm also catching up on my e-mail and Internet stuff since I haven't had Internet access since last week. Our computer went ku-put. Or perhaps just the Internet its hard to tell my mom and I have decide to wait to fix it until we get back from this trip. We have enough on our plates right now.

And the students are back in Pullman. Moscow too but over hear it dosn't hurt as bad. There are 27,000 students at WSU, can you belive that? I'm almost sure thats more people than live in town. And it feels like town is bursting at the seems the trafic is awfel stores are overflowing and its soo noisy. I just want to run away and hide. But you cant get away from them they are everywhere. and they are almost all frat boys and sarority girls. Over hear in Moscow at thease some of the students are pretty and or intersting. Not so in Pullman, there are very blond and plastic looking.

Friday, August 3, 2007

Another Day Another Lie

At work yesterday someone had posted a little article on the pin board. It was about how there are actually a lot more Americans dieing in Iraq right now that the government counts. ( why am I not surprised) but the contract people, like Haliberton, and stuff are as much in the thick of it as the solderers and the government doesn't count there deaths, when asked a spokesperson said "We are not obligated to keep track of those numbers." which I think sounds kind of crass senic they aren't so much numbers as people who have died. bastards.

And in lighter news. I am recovering slowly from my jet lag after New York. There hasn't been a night where I haven't gone to be early and I have been sleeping like a log when I do so. I'm hoping by sticking to my former schedule my body will get the idea that we are back and get used to it. No luck so far.

It was totally worth the jet lag and diarrhea though, it was so nice to see Emily in her natural environment. Emily and Jenny's lifestyle impresses me with its simplicity. And I think she really is happy now that she is not living in the apartment form hell. I am slightly jealous of her stuff free philosophy, but I'm not sure I can emulate it and be happy. so I will just work on getting rid of a bit of stuff around the edges rather than do a major purge.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

The Morning After

Today I am feeling much better but yesterday I was feeling a little hung over from my night out. We went first to the BBQ Restaurant where we had as Emily described it the tastiest beverage she'd ever had. Afterwords she said that perhaps her tasty beverage had been so yummy because it was virgin (laking alcohol) But me I though mine was pretty good, alcohol and all. Then we went to The Pyramid which has a lovely 80s night. I have never met a more friendly exited and enthusiastic crowd.

After a gentle morning of slowly getting moving to go to the beach Emily's friend Katija called and when asked if she would like to go the beach with us told us she was going with some friend who had a cabin at Oyster Bay and would we care to come along? We of course though this was a wonderful notion and happily agreed to be picked up. We were picked up by Katija, Robert, and Eugine in Eugines van. Katija was a very lovely redhead with a beautiful accent that I couldn't place she said something about living in Berlin but I wasn't sure if that was just among her travels or if she hails from there. Robert was her boyfriend, a quiet man with a smile that changed him from preppy to sweet. And finally there was the driver Eugene who had what turned out to be a Polish accent. He talked the whole time that he drove to Robert who sat with him in the front seat about the building he is working on for Robert.

Emily told me later that this Eugine is a contractor and the building is owned by someone else but is renting the space to Robert for his cafe/ gallery/ I don't know what all. Anyways its a really big deal and everyone is very exited about it. It sounds like the one they have is really cool and this new one will be even more cool.

We were driving through this wonderfully lush aria which I figured was fairly rich and was confirmed by Eugine as he told us that the houses we drive past that I was so in love with for there stately manor and seeming old fashioned English gardens were actually built in the last three years all of the trees shrubs and house were shipped in after decimating the natural lush forest that was there originally. I felt sad then and wondered how people with so much money (enough to have such a place built and still have two other abodes) could be so selfish and irresponsible.

Eugine stopped and everyone one but Emily plied out of the van into this lovely little bakery with cakes and tarts and espresso. Eugine seemed annoyed that we wanted to buy things saying 'You don't need to I bought enough for us all" but I bought a decaf mocha and a piece of this luscious chocolate cake. I'm so lad I did because while the tarts looked lovely they had a lot of fruit and cream cheese which all though are sweet are not my thing. (I did try a bite and they were even tasty to my picky pallet)

We eventually drove into this very compact neighbourhood with pebbled roads and parked in front of this very old style white house with yellow trim. It had a screened in front porch and I immediately felt as if I had come home. The wood and attics along with the very warm music coming from inside welcomed us in. There we met a woman who I can't for the life of me remember her name. She was very warm and very German seeming although she too was probably polish. She reminded me of Emily mom, with her way of swishing aside all offers of help and busily setting bout preparing food and drinks for all. She made a lovely salad and smoothie with rum in it (I didn't finish more than a few sips of the rum my stomic rebels against such things violently but it was very lovely tasting.) Emily and I had packed sandwiches but did not need them in the least until we made it back to her apartment.

After we arrived there was thunder and Eugine reveled his fear of lightning. Apparently he has been struck and someone he knows was also struck at another time. So it was quite understandable that he was so spooked about it and made us all come in when our hair was standing up on our heads from the static electrisity. That was very cool. I've never seen that before.

But eventually we did get too swim and I will say this for moist heat. It makes it so its very comfortable to wander around in the rain and go swimming. The water was lovely. Robert told me as an incentive to get it. (I had never gone swimming in the ocian and was slighly nevouse) That it tases aweet not like the carribian. He was right. It did taste nice and I had a lovely time in the water although I was shakeing from tiredness when I climbed out.

All in all a lovely expidition. I highly recomend Long Island for your swimming needs.

Friday, July 27, 2007

New York

I am actually in New York NY right now. Never been before. A few minutes ago I was making tea in the kitchen of Emily’s apartment and I heard this really beautiful birdcall from outside the window. Woo woo hoo hoo. Very low and calm and almost like an owl so I went to look and it was a pidgin. I think it was male and since I was behind it, it couldn’t see me and kept making its call, so I could see how its chest expanded and contracted as it expelled this really loud sound. It was really cool. I've never seen birds actually move that close up before except on David Attenborough programs. I can hear a lot of different birds out in her backyard tree. They make different calls than the ones I'm used to. I have to say I like them better they aren't as piercing as the crows, magpies, and robins of Pullman.

Other than the birds I've noticed that there is a lot of garbage. I was sure it must be garbage day when I got hear on Wednesday but Emily assures me that every day is garbage day here. I feel sorry for the sanitation workers.

I've also noticed that everyone seems in a big hurry. Everywhere I go they seem to be rushing hear and there and getting very angry when things like crosswalks pedestrians or cars get in there way. I've seen lots of people just cross a street even thought the light is red and only stop doing so when the oncoming traffic honks at them to get out of the way.

I feel slightly unprepared for the languages hear too. I’ve heard both Russian and Spanish in casually overheard conversations. Nether of these are my languages. I don't think my struggles to learn French are going to help me with the natives. I wish I was like Limeond and could just pick up any language with a bit of dedication but I suck at it. I've worked damned hard to learn the little bit of French I know and I'm going to have to continue working at it for the rest of my life to keep it up. Much less get any better. Frankly I'm a little surprised at my commitment to such a useless endeavor. It has not helped me in any tangible way over the nine or ten years that I have worked on it and usually without some kind of reward I give up. There must be something about it more than just pure stubbornness.

I have brought a long a journal to draw in and write my thoughts because as I was packing for this trip I found the one I had taken to Scotland with me. It had all the names places and dates. All the things that I had forgotten about the trip. It made me so happy that I dragged it a long to finish the last 50 or so pages off with my trip to New York. Hoping that I will have somewhat of the same experience down the line. Finding the memories on my shelf.

I'm not going to lie and say that I love it hear. There are things about it that I like but I'm not sure I would want to live hear. A disappointment Emily I'm sure. But it’s not really my kind of place as far as I can see. I haven't really done much yet. Ridden in a taxi, walked around Manhattan and central park, shopped for shoes, visited my fiends job, tried to sleep, but I haven't met a whole lot of people, just walked past them, or gone anywhere famous or hung out at any clubs yet. So I think perhaps there are unplumbed depths that hopefully I will see later.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Peanut butter

Today I bought new peaunt butter. I prefer Skippy and after pulling off the cap I was disappointed to note that the seal on top, had no little flap for ease of opening. I know the last time I had opened one there had been. I was annoyed and briefly wondered if I wrote them a letter saying how much nicer it is when they put a little flap for opening on if it would do any good. I realized that it probably wouldn't. If I spent as much time as I think about writing to people for the causes that I find out about I would have to time for anything else.

I wrote about sexual harassment yesterday and what I forgot to mention is how many of the people who have experienced sexual harassment don't report it. Some 5% of people. Which means that if you increased the statistics of sexual harassment by 19 times that would be a more accurate number of people sexually harassed in the US. People in power say that because of this that people aren't experiencing it or are just cowardly. But think about it. Its just like writing a letter to the peanut butter company. If you do you will spend however long it takes to write the letter edit it, find the envelope put a stamp on it and mail it. Taking anywhere form half an hour to 2 hours of your time and energy and then nothing will happen. Or you can experience ten or fifteen minutes of irritation with the problem and get on with your life.

When its an issue of sexual harassment the hour is stretched out to 3 or so years and lots of people have to get involved you may loose your job and have no money to live on, compared to dealing with what you are now, just putting up with it. Which would you choose?

It's a tough call, and everyone deals with that decision differently. I think its low of politicians to demean the problem by saying that if people cared enough it would stop. People can care a lot and still not have energy to deal with the problem. It happens all the time.